Hooray for Fall

Hooray for Fall by hilljo featuring a navy blue cardigan

We're All Mad Here

We're All Mad Here by hilljo featuring long sleeve tops

Can I just say...

Any person, woman or man, has the right to do whatever she or he thinks is right for themselves. No one should be made to feel as though they must do anything but, no one must be ridiculed for doing what they feel is right, either.
Especially about the topics of birth, life and death: these are incredibly personal and unique experiences for us humans and we all feel very strongly about them.

Let us be and stay curious rather than become judgemental. Let us see what will happen.

Our Kitty-Babies are 3!!!

3 years ago Mama Kitty started to meow uncontrollably. She was 9 weeks pregnant and ready to give birth any moment. She sat on my foot and broke her water to let me know that this was indeed that moment.
About 3 weeks before I had prepared a box under the sink's vanity counter that was quiet, dark and safe. I lined it with lots of sheets and had bought a towel for it the day before she labored. She snubbed the box the entire time; she was a street-cat before, she knew what she was doing, dammit, and she didn't need our help with this. However, after that gush of amniotic fluid she went and sat right the hell in the box and started the process. Ms. Hardass broke and accepted that box.
I called into work for the first time and settled down with Mama Kitty as an observer. She birthed the first 3 kitties in just under a few hours, cleaning and holding each one as it was born. She was so proud and so happy with herself to finally have kittens inside in a safe place where she knew they could be protected. She looked at me like a person; I'll never forget it.

When Lucy was born, she came out bum-first like all the kitties did. Being wet from birth she looked merely like a black cat, especially with her inky toes, so when her head plopped out and to the side revealing her split face, it startled me! She started to mew as mama picked her up and cleaned her and I marveled at her face markings... so... soo... beautiful.
When Ava was born, I was so excited that my reaction could have warrented the observation that my own kittenchild was being born via surrogate. Ava and I would play in-utero through Mama's tummy. She would kick and roll when I pet and tickled her; I wanted to know which kitty it was when she finally came out. She was the cutest little tube-of-sausage-fat kitten there ever was... and her Kitler was admittedly much lighter...

And now 3 years later, her surviving kittens, Lucy and Ava, are larger than she is. But that doesn't stop her from holding and cleaning them like she did those 3 years ago...

Peach + Mama Kitty... a year in the making.

Last year Mama Kitty was in a heavy fog of denial that Peach was indeed a new member of the family and she refused to believe that. She went from smacking to hissing to jeering at Peach every time she walked by in the first few months. Then, something changed. She realized that Peach hadn't gone when she had gotten a new flavor of cat food so she figured that it must have been quite some time that Peach had been there. Mama started to soften.

One day in late June I came out to the couch where I found this scene. Mama even smiled. They weren't touching, but they were being tolerant of each other for the first time.

They even bonded over snuggling with daddy together in July. Or begging for margarita... either way.

Then one day in August we were all on the couch and mama reached out to Peach to just touch her. This melted us.

And now they are outside buddies, too.

I'm so glad they decided to love each other. We coudln't imagine our family any other way than full of animals that we all love and that love each other.

It's Friday I'm in LoVE! #36

Short and sweet is the name of the game today! I am a busy, busy gal working and crocheting and whatnot.

Today I love me because:

1. I'm being very understanding and gentle with myself this week.
2. I'm drinking a ton of water... maybe even 2 craptons.
3. I don't get that "heat rising" sensation when people try to make me feel angry or sad.
4. I'm sooooo ready for Fall!
5. I bought myself some more of those sunglasses you all love before the last replacements break!

Have a wonderful, wonderful Equinox tomorrow at 8:49 AM CST!!! And I hope you enjoy the offically last day of Summer.

Lake Zorinsky

I can't believe it's already Wednesday! Wooohooo! SO close to Friday + the weekend!

Over this last weekend we didn't do much. Saturday we went to Grandpa's house so Shawn could mow as he does every Saturday. We brought the pug so her and I sat outside in the loverly weather crocheting while Shawn took the mower out.
Halfway through a double crochet cluster, I hear a "BANG BANG" on the window from the inside--Shawn's cousins who will be staying at Grandpa's while he recovers had come over to move in some things.
I love Shawn's cousins and their children so much. His cousins entire family were in our wedding!
I just didn't think I'd have to see any babies or pregnant people that day... it wasn't a good day anyhow so it just made me sad. I didn't say much and I hope they know I wasn't mad or anything--just sad. We talked with them for a bit and went back home.
I cried and cried and cried.
Later in the day we got ready to go back out into Omaha to stop by Shawn's parents' house so he could make a payment on the car he just got for us. We got close to the house and saw Shawn's cousins' vehicle outside. They were visiting, too.

I looked at him and started to cry again.
He said calmly, "Let's go see the lake. We haven't seen it since it reopened."
I nodded and hugged the pug tight.
We got to Lake Zorinksy and the weather was so amazing for a walk with the dog. We all really enjoyed it. We forgot about everything if only for a bit as we watched the sun go down. We waited to leave until the clouds obscured its plunge into the horizon, turning the sky shades of orange, purple and pink. It was so beautiful. I was happy just sitting there with my little family. Everything really was as it should be at that moment; I just let everything go.

We went back to his parents' house and visited Grandpa until he was tired. His mom expressed that we "should have come over earlier" as we left.

Shawn and I just looked at each other and smiled to ourselves.
It had been the perfect time to come over.

Remember that High Chair?

I just wanted to revisit this because I'm still bonkers over the deal we got.
Let's review:

FOUND - Antique Convertible Mid-Century Modern Thayer High Chair, all wood with baby blue leather(?) seat featuring scotty dog detail.
CONDITION - VERRRRRY good. No broken parts/dings on the wood. Only slight fade marks.
PRICE - $20

FOUND ON EBAY - Vintage Mid-Century Modern Thayer High Chair, all wood with red vinyl seat.
CONDITION - OK. Piping on seat coming apart, tray clamp is broken and will not stay in place.
PRICE - $295.00

HA! We win.

It's Friday, I'm in LoVE!!! #35



M63, the Sunflower Galaxy via celestialwonders

Today I love me because:

1. I am master of understanding my emotions.
2. I admit: After a whole month of not giving one single **** and even hoping for more time without a baby, I'm getting the desperation pangs back.
3. "Relax," "breathe," "it'll happen," don't upset me anymore. It reminds me to do those things exactly. Besides, how nice is it that someone "just knows it'll happen?" Makes my worry shrink.
4. I realize that I'm eating more and that'd be fine with my activity level but it's been carbs and sugar... I'm going to replace that with veggies.
5. I decided to leave my job after I have the baby to open a home daycare.
6. I'm going to paint my damn front door finally. Orange. Maybe even this weekend!

Thank you to my family and friends and to Shawn for sticking with me and for all the love and support. It helps.

And Shawn,
you will never know how much you do for me. I love you.

What is this called...? Oh, human.

via Maarten 

Today is very trying for me. It could be better but it sure could be worse.

Hell, it could be Friday. Some of you may have thought it was. Anyways...
I'm trying to continue seeing the forest for the trees but I feel just so downtrodden. I know better; I am fabulous right now. But I'm just addicted to a behavior pattern that goes:
Happy --> Content --> Bored --> Lazy --> Depressed --> Guilt
I blame this on being an adaptive human; I adapt to my surroundings whether they are shitty or whether they are good, and I get used to them instead of trying to change them/appreciate them any longer.
I want my behavior pattern to look like:
*Happy --> Content --> Curious --> Enlightened -->* Happy, repeat from * to *

I just need to work on my focus, I think.
See the trees...
Just breathe.

Love.

1 week down, 1 week to go...

Ugh. Now I remember what the two week wait hell is like. The first week you can keep it together quite well, and then the 2nd week starts and Ppbbtt!

Oh well. I'm being gentle with myself and not stressing out or getting upset at like, anything.

Ohhh you want to cut me off today? That's your path! I'll just be over here on mine, zenned out listening to Pink Floyd in my new carrrrrr...

Yeah, Shawn got me a black Honda Accord with 4 doors for when the baby finally decides to exist. Geeeze, baby. Take forever... OK, don't...

Sorry I haven't been blogging as much as I usually do; I've been really busy at work. Plus, not writing day after day during the 2 week wait helps stave off my impatience and I'd like to nurture that, mmmkay? I'm also sorry this post is so allover the place but I wanted to update the blog before Friday so as not to be quite so random.

ME?! Random... please... ppbbtt...

It's Friday, I'm in LoVE!!! #34

Short weeks always seem just as long, don't they?

Painting by JoeledBetter

It's Friday in any case, though. Shawn is sick at home and I am at work. I'll be leaving early today!

Today I love me because:

1. My patience is just sooo awesome right now.
2. I started taking an herb (nettles) to help with the after-thePill effects I've been dealing with for the last several months.
3. I am so committed to my yoga and walking. I do it everyday!
4. I didn't make an entire post about the two week wait starting again. But we're there.
5. I am taking really good care of myself.
6. I put off grocery shopping all week. I know, badass.

Have a nice weekend, everyone!

KC | MO

KC | MO by hilljo featuring heart rings