Baby Shower...s... blech.

Baby showers both suck and rock because of what they expose: true friends and points of... ahem, interest within family relationships. I am going out on a limb writing this article because it's going to piss off my family*, but I am pissed to the point of no return and this is my blog.
If someone reads it, they read it. I own my words and the responsibility of carrying them.

In the last weeks of my pregnancy the last thing I am concerned with is having a shower for our baby. I wish we'd held them a little earlier because I am huge, uncomfortable and apparently the baby could come any day. I'm also just so obsessed with going into labor and finally meeting our baby that I am in no condition to work, be social or to act aware of anything around me. I'm in the Zone. And the only cure is giving birth... not more cowbell as some may argue.

If I must take part in a late-term baby shower, and I must, I want it to be a happy, easy-going celebration full of family and friends who ask non-stop questions about the BABY and our future plans for him or her.
Unfortunately the shower has become a hub for passive agressiveness and behavior patterns which damage relationships and hurt feelings. And all of us are to blame.

I ask that any family who is reading this re-groups and centers themselves on the fact that we are all waiting for a BABY here, this should be a fun and exciting time. Our family is growing because of nothing more than the love within it. I also ask that we be mindful of each other's feelings during this time: exclusion is excruciatingly painful. "I didn't remember" doesn't soften the blow, either. This is a very intimate family event and an invite extended to the entire family and not just one side of it means the world to more people than you know. Your absence is also incredibly painful and speaks very loudly, whether what it says is accurate or not.

I ask that I be kept out of who-said-what updates and Facebook squabbles; I'm really focused on bringing the baby into the world the best way I can and I cannot do that with my insides feeling all scrambled up from the stress of this situation. It's not about the shower/s, it's about the emotional tone of our family we're setting for this wee one to be born into that is important. Baby will not care who bought what. I want to show them we all love each other, dammit. We all need to act like it more.

I need to hug people more. And I am going to try.


*family refers to the group of people we joined together with our marriage nearly 2 years ago throughout this post. All of them.

Peach + Mama Kitty... a year in the making.

Last year Mama Kitty was in a heavy fog of denial that Peach was indeed a new member of the family and she refused to believe that. She went from smacking to hissing to jeering at Peach every time she walked by in the first few months. Then, something changed. She realized that Peach hadn't gone when she had gotten a new flavor of cat food so she figured that it must have been quite some time that Peach had been there. Mama started to soften.

One day in late June I came out to the couch where I found this scene. Mama even smiled. They weren't touching, but they were being tolerant of each other for the first time.

They even bonded over snuggling with daddy together in July. Or begging for margarita... either way.

Then one day in August we were all on the couch and mama reached out to Peach to just touch her. This melted us.

And now they are outside buddies, too.

I'm so glad they decided to love each other. We coudln't imagine our family any other way than full of animals that we all love and that love each other.

Lake Zorinsky

I can't believe it's already Wednesday! Wooohooo! SO close to Friday + the weekend!

Over this last weekend we didn't do much. Saturday we went to Grandpa's house so Shawn could mow as he does every Saturday. We brought the pug so her and I sat outside in the loverly weather crocheting while Shawn took the mower out.
Halfway through a double crochet cluster, I hear a "BANG BANG" on the window from the inside--Shawn's cousins who will be staying at Grandpa's while he recovers had come over to move in some things.
I love Shawn's cousins and their children so much. His cousins entire family were in our wedding!
I just didn't think I'd have to see any babies or pregnant people that day... it wasn't a good day anyhow so it just made me sad. I didn't say much and I hope they know I wasn't mad or anything--just sad. We talked with them for a bit and went back home.
I cried and cried and cried.
Later in the day we got ready to go back out into Omaha to stop by Shawn's parents' house so he could make a payment on the car he just got for us. We got close to the house and saw Shawn's cousins' vehicle outside. They were visiting, too.

I looked at him and started to cry again.
He said calmly, "Let's go see the lake. We haven't seen it since it reopened."
I nodded and hugged the pug tight.
We got to Lake Zorinksy and the weather was so amazing for a walk with the dog. We all really enjoyed it. We forgot about everything if only for a bit as we watched the sun go down. We waited to leave until the clouds obscured its plunge into the horizon, turning the sky shades of orange, purple and pink. It was so beautiful. I was happy just sitting there with my little family. Everything really was as it should be at that moment; I just let everything go.

We went back to his parents' house and visited Grandpa until he was tired. His mom expressed that we "should have come over earlier" as we left.

Shawn and I just looked at each other and smiled to ourselves.
It had been the perfect time to come over.

It's Friday, I LoVE... my family!

This week, though challenging, reminded me of how strong I am and how much I love my family. We are strong together, and we have so much love for each other.

Shawn and I are doing very well. We're ready for more adventures of all kinds and have discovered the mindset that the future baby had better get ready for US.

---

I had been suffering anxiety since Monday after I knew this cycle was a bust again. My parents invited us to dinner at their house which took a huge burden off of my back as the last thing I wanted to do was to cook. My mom's roast is like eating a hug.

I tried to chill out but I had chest pains from my muscles tightening and even experienced a panic attack while Shawn was trying to take me out for sushi and a Mai Tai on Tuesday. I went to the doctor yesterday and asked for anxiety medication. I also had my blood ran for pituitary abnormalities (all normal!) and my thyroid checked (also normal!) so I am balanced in the hormone department... And I don't really want to take it the medication.
I just started feeling like me; I don't want to lose that--or my libido (need that to make a baby, people!)--by taking medication that could cause panic attacks...
I slept on the decision and woke up today with no chest pain and a kick-ass attitude.
I also woke up to see that the huge, painful hematoma from the blood draw had flattened, leaving a lovely array of blues, pinks and purples in my elbow-pit. It doesn't hurt anymore either!

I won't go into detail because it's not about me, but Grandpa had a stroke and is recovering now. I always love being in a room full of our family, and I still felt like that last night even though the room was a hospital room. Grandpa's still very much himself, muttering an "Aww, hell" every now and again.

I'm glad it's Friday and that I have such a wonderful and large family that cares for each other.
Keep us all in your thoughts, prayers and meditations. You're in ours!

Early: New Year's!!!

I have ALWAYS wanted to go to New York City and be in Times Square for New Year's. Ever since I was a little girl I have watched the ball drop on TV, and in later years that's all I pretty much did, too. I have never had a party or gone to a party for New Year's... it's always spent at home, in pajamas, yawning and one-eyed napping until it's 12 and time to finally go to sleep.
Just once I'd love to be in Times Square amidst the throngs of people steeped in confetti, delirious and cold next to my best friend counting down from 10... until the big moment when I get that kiss.
I checked airfare... it's under $1,000 for both of us for the weekend but I don't want this to be something I have to talk Shawn into... I want it to be a whirlwhind of spontanaiety and being young, in-love and childless (no baby bag to tote along yet)...
We won't always be able to do something like this but that money was meant for our Jamaica "honeymoon." But it has been 6 months since the wedding and we did go to South Dakota right after it... I know that Jamaica would be a pretty good family vacation one day. New York, not so much.
One thing is for sure though. I am BORED and I have a bad case of wanderlust that has the ability to drive me into a overwhelming self-revolutionary sense of abandonment. I do not want.
I want NYC and my sweetheart on New Year's Eve.

Now that I have rambled, if you wish to comment, make sure it's for my dad. It's his birthday today!
Happy Birthday Dad!

Pinterest!

This is the thief of my time spent blogging. But it's fun!

I am using Pinterest to collect ideas for my cousin's wedding if she decides to have one in the next year. I have several others that I am working on with my other designs along with some of our wedding photos!

Meet the Baby : Princess Peach

We have wanted a pug for almost 2 years.
After seeing everyone lovin' their dogs while we were in Michigan, we decided it was time to get our very own. We searched for a pug in Nebraska and found a little 5 month old gal from Pug Partners in Nebraska. We filled out an application and they got back with us to schedule a home walk-through with the pup and her Foster Mom. The pug was so happy and she ran around like a wild lady at the house! We were in love.
After sleeping on it like the organization suggests, we were in pain without her. We were sure we wanted to care for that dog!

Yesterday her foster parents both brought her over to say goodbye and send her off into our home. I can't imagine how difficult being a foster parent would be to this little girl or any other precious animal! Heartbreaking, to say the least.

I am SO impressed with Pug Partners. They chose a great set of foster parents for our perfect little Peach before she came to live with us. She is the most well-behaved puppy we have ever seen!

We. Love. Her.
Borderline addicted. Ok, over the line.

Bunnies has house keys... to our new home together.

Need some family crest animals?

Catch the Bouquet

My MOH Meaghan was hell-bent on catching my toss bouquet. However, when the time came for the bouquet toss, she was nowhere to be found!!! I am so glad I picked "This Will Be" by Natalie Cole for the toss music; I always want to hear it twice and we had to in order to kill enough time for Meaghan to run in from wherever she was (decorating my car, I now know)!

She ran in, I stood on a chair and heaved!

I heard giggles, skittering and gasps. Apparently the bouquet hit the porthole windows!

I turned around and our friend Maren who works with Shawn's sister Heather had caught it perfectly! We all had a giggle and continued to party!

PS: Sorry I don't have any pictures of the toss... (and that's all we'll mention about that...)

Godfamily

I was born in Michigan, and I am an only child.

The fact I was an only made it very important to my parents to select Godparents for me when I was very young, should something ever happen to them before I grew up. They picked a couple who had 2 daughters of their own, who they had known for a long time. I grew up with their girls, we had Christmases together at their log cabin home, and have played dress-up with them many, many times with their (amazing) dress-up collection.

Our families were best-friends. I loved their kids and them, and we all loved each other like, well, family. Then we moved out to Nebraska. I hadn't talked to the family for a long while when Shawn + I got engaged; I never expected them to come to the wedding, especially not all of them. But they did! And they gave us lovely gifts to boot.

Cheyenne, Me, Marissa

D.Pohlen

Uncle Tom

D.Pohlen

That day a lot of my family and friends surprised me by showing me just how much they loved us. And I learned what family really is and how large ours is now. It's wonderful!

Happy Birthday, Husbunnay

Happy Birthday, my Husbunnay!

Shawnie is 24 Today

We got a house! YAY BUN WE DID IT!!!
And when we get home from leaving work early today, I'm making ice cream cake.

Verbal RSVP's - Painful!

24 Days!!!

Shawn and I made and sent around 115 invites total. Of those, around 80 were mailed with stamps but all 115 included RSVP cards with pre-stamped envelopes with which to mail them back. Currently I believe we have around 80 RSVP's total. Shawn's friends and some of our family members are not RSVP'ing! We spent SO much on stamps for all those RSVP envelopes because we need a headcount for food! I thought it'd be no problem having the cards returned by including a pre-stamped envelope, no matter what the answer is.
Verbal RSVP's are only okay for immediate family like our parents because they only got keepsake invitations and I don't expect those RSVP's back.
It is much more thoughtful not to verbally RSVP to someone who is less than a month away from getting married and tying up the ends of the wedding and purchasing a home. I can't keep track of 20 verbal RSVP's; my mom needs those RSVP cards!

My Solah Shringar : Bichuas

My Solah Shringar is going well!
I just got my hair cut and it is lovely!!! My hair lady is super-amazing and always does EXACTLY what I have in my head. Seriously, Nebraska, go see Kristin at John Edward's salon; she has been called innovative by Redken stylists at the hair shows I modeled for in the past!!! She even shampoo'd me with sulfate-free shampoo since I go no-poo/no-sulfate poo. AH-MAZING!

Haircut with Naath on display!

Shawn's momma Donna bought me my Bichuas toe ring! I was going to buy a toe ring/anklet set with a butterfly theme. Donna texted me last week "Do you wear toe rings?" I replied "Yes, I actually need to buy one for the wedding for my bare feet!" She sent me back a picture of this:

AMAZING! When Shawn and I were first dating before we became yellow and orange bunnays, were were green & blue puppies (remember the color book pages, Bun?!) So this is a perfect blend of old and new; plus it's freakin' pretty. I can't wait to wear it!!! What kind of anklet should I get? I kind of want a silver one to match. Any ideas on where to find it, too?!

How sweet it is!!!

Shawn's mommy recently got all of our mini chocolate bars wrapped in the personalized labels!

The company that made our matching seed packets sent one of these candies with the seed packet order as bait! We took the bait and now we have 300 total!

YUM!

Happy Birthday, Maid of Honor!

Today is my maid of honor, Meaghan's, birthday.

Now you're finally as old as me again! :oP

Terra Cotta Bunnay - DIY UPDATE!

Shawn's momma Donna just MMS'd me these photos of our Inity Ceremony planter!!! OMG it's perfect!!! She also would like to put our names + date on the bottom! So cute!
What do you think between before and after?!


BEFORE



AFTER



LOOK AT THAT BUNNAY LIP!!!

I know it's silly but this is the planter of my dreams!!! It's one of those magical details that just makes this truly my dream wedding. I just love this. 

Luxurious Homespun Toilet Paper

Seriously.

and then...

ENTER THE GIVEAWAY!!! ENDS 4/30/11 at 11:59 CST!!!

Bridal Luncheon Favors

Over the weekend a few of the ladies I work with and my mom, Shawn's mom and sister and I all went to a local eatery/bakery to enjoy a little Bridal Luncheon.

They thought they'd have all the suprises (they did have a bunch!) but I had a couple up my sleeve as well.
The ladies and I are event planners for a novelty company so we take our jobs very seriously and plan all of our events to a T. We even include hostess gifts in our planning, so this was no exception. The hostess and I share the same favorite wine so that was easy, but you can't just shove a bottle of wine at someone! It has to be pretty. So thanks to the Bistro at Bellenza, I furoshiki'd the wine for her in one of my favorite scarves from my collection and voila.

Prettiness.

Since it is Easter time I decided to capitalize on what's available: peeps bunnies! Our wedding is bunny themed so I figured this idea from Celebrations at Home via Babble would be highly appropriate. I added a bride bunny to the tuxedo-clad bunnies in the tutorial and I had a bunny-themed bridal shower favor for everyone!

Me, Shawn and his groomsman Chris each bagged a bride and a groom bunny in a cellophane bag together and tied them closed with yarn until they were all paired off.

I had to keep a pair, too!!!



Shawn + Hillary Jo

I just wanted the gals to know I really felt special and I thought about doing something for them as well!

This Week's Pre-Summary + BHLDN Favorite Things

Hi, all. I sincerely apologize for my lapse of posts this week ahead of time. Shawn was sick from Friday and on through today still. I thought he had food poisoning so I took a vacation day off work Friday and stayed bed-ridden with him all weekend. So I was around his coughing and sneezing and fluids... and now I suspect he had the flu, as I am now starting some symptoms. I am also moving to a new department in my company this week. So I'll be busy, busy, busy 'til it is Friday once more!

For now, I will let you know: BHLDN has started a moodboard function on its website similar to Style Me Pretty's (although NOTHING is like Style Me Pretty boards!!!) where you can upload your own inspiration, and then go nuts with their product. I tried that avenue this morning with two very different boards. One is april showers-inspired and one is may blush colored flowers-inspired.

April Showers

Bring Blush Colored May Flowers

GO LOOK AND MAKE ONE!!!

Mason Jar Centerpieces

My mother in law, Donna went with me on my first wedding-related DIY shopping trip back in August/September. We went to Hobby Lobby because I was so overwhelmed by where to start planning that I couldn't come up with anything! SO not like me (I'm lucky my mom and my future second mom are both crafty)!
We were focusing on table decorations first. I knew I didn't want flowers on the table necessarily, nor anything else that impedes conversation due to size.
Luckily Donna asked the Million Dollar Question: "What do you like?"
I answered simply, "Mason Jars."
"Let's do jar centerpieces then."
"Okay!"
They're short enough to talk over, easy to find and afford, and you can customize the bizingo out of them. How would we choose to customize them, though?
Donna said she had experience glass painting so we went to the book section and found a book on hand painted glasses.

We liked the look of one design on stemless wine glasses.

She thought we could swap out the flowers in the design with sunflowers to make it match. We also thought a candle would be nice inside to bounce off the glass later in the evening and double as lighting! She added a ribbon around the threads and it was perfect.

When we went to the venue to look around and eventually book it, the venue coordinator, Kari, shared with us that she had centerpiece accessories. They ended up being perfect for our jars. Kari has table mirrors and clear pebbles to use on the tables! For no charge! YEE!!!
Over the last 6 months Donna has bought everything to make the centerpieces and ended up painting a case of Mason jars+ and also painting tiny sunflowers on a truckload of blue pebbles.

They look so amazing.
I can't wait to see how amazing they all look together on the tables!