31 Weeks Pregnant

Here I am, already a week past the 30-week time frame it took me to really consider myself  "officially big and pregnant." Of course, I've been officially pregnant for 204 days, but at day 197 it really took a hold. Finally.
But now that it has sunken in (we're going to have a baby! Forrrrealllls!) and I'm focusing on preparing myself for labor & delivery and minding my own well-being I don't have much to say about it anymore. My thoughts have shifted to "What's next? Oh yeah, a real, live KID."
I realize there's a time of "invisible pregnancy" where it's not visually obvious and the "out of sight, out of mind" phenomenon occurs, but that's when you're most excited and wanting to talk about being pregnant. I craved to discuss my pregnancy in order to make it more real in the early stages, but no one would bite. Now that I am rotund, everyone and their dog asks me how I'm feeling and strangers are starting to ask questions at the grocery store.
It may be the most ironic thing about being pregnant: people only want to talk about it when you've already reached the point where it's not all you can think/talk/dream about. And "it" is pregnancy, not the fact I'm having a baby.
I'll talk about our baby all day long to whomever gives an incling of interest.
Like, today, the baby is laying sideways (grr!) and its feet are in my side, kicking my spleen/intestines/kidneys. It's sooooo cute to feel little toes mashing up your guts. I can't explain how it's cute, but it is. I think it's because I love the toes and what they're attached to... it makes it different somehow.

Only 9 (to 11) weeks left!!! WOAH.

30 Weeks Pregnant... Happy Spring!

Baby is over a foot long now and should weigh around 3 whole pounds! That's almost 50% of the average birth weight, but it feels much heavier when you're only using your uterus to carry that instead of your hands. I'm starting to get that "breaking pelvis" feeling again... baby must be growing very fast now!

I have waited for so long to be 30 weeks pregnant. I don't know why; I just knew that my belly would be big after that for sure and that I'd want maternity photos done around that time. We have all kinds of plans for pictures, but I'm more excited to just be taking care of me intensively for the next 8 weeks. I plan to buy myself some dresses and shoes to get me through the rest of Spring, stock up on mommy supplies and make sure I feel pretty.
In other mommy-news, I am experiencing a revival of the first trimester via my stomach. I'm puking still of course, but instead of only eating cereal-fruit-mac'n'cheese I am eating cereal-fruit-supreme pizza. And sometimes ice cream. OK a lot of times, ice cream. It's all I want all the time, and I'm going to let myself eat it.

Everything plan-wise is coming together for the baby and it's time to let it fall into place. Shawn and I are changing so much as people. He talks to the baby and kisses my belly good-bye in the morning when he leaves for work and I can tell he doesn't feel as silly for doing it now as he maybe did 10 weeks ago. I even read aloud, which is something I hate doing, to the baby. I bought him or her one of my favorite Little Golden Books The Shy Little Kitten while gathering some pregnant-munchies at the store yesterday. I want to read it to the baby now so that s/he knows the story when s/he gets here. I think it just put him or her to sleep yesterday but I really enjoyed rubbing my belly and telling the baby a story my parents used to read me over and over.

The rest of the month we'll be painting and starting baby classes! Yay!!!

29 Weeks Pregnant

Holy crap! Usually I remember when I'm a whole week more pregnant than I was before, but this time it has snuck up on me. I start to lose track of myself when I get the babysick like I have been again lately. The only difference between 3rd trimester babysick and earlier babysick is the fact that I am emotionally and physically wrecked after puking (even once) the earlier I am in pregnancy. As time goes on, I feel fine but I physically just want nothing more than to ball up with my cats and Shawn in a blanket. It exhausts me and it makes my throat raw. I can't even worry about what it's doing to my teeth enamel. Seriously, who pukes mostly everyday for 6 months+? I've said it before and I'll say it many more times: Being Pregnant is WEIRD.

Tonight we are going to look at cribs and finish registering at Babies R Us. We are very excited for that! Last night we checked out the hospital near our home in case of transfer during the home birth and it is so nice! So quiet and so clean. I'm sure we won't need to go there but if we do, I'm happy with that hospital.
After the next 2 weeks go by it will be damn near all-baby all the time. Kind of excited for that, too. My first prenatal with the Home Birth Midwife is the day before baby classes start. Then we have the baby classes 2 hours/week for 6 weeks.
Nightly activities for now include eating ice cream in bed and watching the baby move ferociously between 7PM and 10:30PM while Shawn and I poke and play with him or her and s/he responds in kind. This is getting fun; we can't even imagine how amazing it will be to sit and stare at our actual baby. Every little common jiggle seems amazing!

The 10 (to 12) week count down starts next week! Belly explosion ahead!

Home Birth Decision

Before becoming pregnant, I considered myself very spiritual. I meditated everyday and did a 20-minute yoga flow almost as often. I felt close to Jah and to everything around me I felt a deep, divine love.
Now that I am pregnant, and very-much so, this has become invaluable to me. My faith in Jah is the strongest it has ever been in my life. I believe it is because I came to it myself after many years of being raised to Believe in the "Western" way, calling Him by the names of God and Jesus in a church full of white people. Searching for, finding, and adapting what feels right regarding my faith has taken years, but it has enriched my soul to the point that I can feel Divine Love, as I walk every step of every day, from its very source.
Jah is everywhere, and it's very apparent if you are looking. When I need comfort I often find traces of Him in nature and I am reminded I am never alone and never without Love and all the wonderful things that come with it, like protection.

Until a Quickie-Ultrasound machine comes out akin to the X-ray screens in cartoons where you stand behind it and can instantly see inside your body, you usually don't get to actually see your baby that often while you are pregnant. And if you haven't been able to feel baby move yet, the time between the first ultrasound and the next/last seems like an eternity and can be filled with worry for expecting mamas. Sometimes all you have to go on is the idea that unless something is really wrong, everything is probably fine. Probably. That is where Jah came in for me. I have been so ill this entire pregnancy that I worried and worried until one day I realized that He is protecting our baby better than I could ever hope to do on my own, and I lifted her up to Him. I prayed aloud for Jah to please hold her in his hands and keep her safe, and to quiet my heart in the knowledge that it is done and had been even before I asked.
Now our baby is viable, could be born at anytime in the next 8 weeks and most likely survive with the aid of medical attention in a hospital. I pray the baby cooks for longer and that this doesn't happen, too, but everything would be alright. So how do I need Jah now? I need Jah for myself. He needs me to listen right now.
At 20 weeks my home birth midwife was served with a warrant in my state and could no longer cross the state line for her own safety and well-being. I was devastated. I had only ever dreamed I would give birth at home, surrounded by my animals and being helped by my husband, doula and midwife. All of that was... gone. I dropped to my knees in desperation and prayed out at that moment for Jah to calm me and to show me, if it was His will, a midwife who would be able to support us for a home birth. This was 8 weeks ago.
She came over Monday. She's lovely and experienced, having worked in the field for over 6 years under the Midwife I originally had planned for our birth.
And I didn't feel how I thought I would feel. She feels better than the birth center, but I wasn't ready to jump in with paperwork and the whole shebang with her quite yet. I had to think and pray.

I remembered praying for a home birth midwife to be provided if that was what we were supposed to have. I got her.
I remember denying myself the carnal desire of family because of the possibly rocky road ahead attempting to become pregnant just 15 months earlier. And I did get pregnant.
And here we are.

I've decided: we're going to have a home birth. Just like I prayed for and dreamt about all year. And I will not be afraid, because although I will always need Jah right now he needs me--to listen to Him and to maintain my faith in Him.

Every little thing is gonna be alright. It's Irie, even.

28 Weeks Pregnant (3rd trimester, yeah!)

via Peter Michel

 I smelled Summertime today. It's so warm here (almost 50!) that conditions are just right for the outside to smell in such a way that it triggered my Summertime mindset and mood shortly. It could have been late June for those 3 to 5 seconds for all I knew. Then it dawned on me that in late June I'll have had our baby and Shawn and I will be on maternity leave with us.
This Summer is going to kick ass.

Speaking of kicking asses, my morning sickness went on a rampage starting Tuesday late-morning and continued into late afternoon yesterday (Wednesday... yay. Happy 3rd Trimester to meeeeee). I seriously kept 2 articles of food down in a 30-hour period of time. It was like week 8 all over again; I wasn't even able to go to work yesterday. Now I am fine (didn't even get sick this morning!) and I'm happily munching graham crackers laden with nutella and shredded coconut.

I've kind of gotten back to eating much healthier this week, craving nuts, cheeses, fruit and small snacks like Nāked juices. After searching for nearly two weeks I have finally found a healthy source of 50g of sugar as well: Red Machine. 1 bottle has 2 servings BUT each serving has 25g of sugar, so if I drink the entire bottle I don't have to chug any glucola.

Phew. I might not puke!

Holy, Holy, Holy Heartburn

via Stork Fund

Before being pregnant I experienced heartburn occasionally. I would just slam water until I forgot about it and it went away. I couldn't see how people would go to the hospital for indigestion or heartburn thinking it was possibly a heart attack.
With pregnancy, I experience heartburn frequently (daily, off and on) and as I get bigger and bigger, the intensity of the burning increases. I now wonder how anyone with true heartburn doesn't think "Oh my gosh, what is this? Something is WRONG!!!"
It hurts, y'all! BAD.
From my throat to my stomach (which is now located directly under my ribs) area, I just burnnnnn sometimes. Water only makes it worse, too. I'm trying tea on it today but so far, it hasn't stopped. Almonds work for me and I 'd like to try apple cider vinegar + water to see if it works, too.

Mama Kitty Love works, too.

They say when you have heartburn in pregnancy, your child will have lots of hair. We'll have to see. In the meantime, have a lovely weekend and please vote for my belly cast (if you haven't yet!)Shawn and I made by "Like"ing the picture on Facebook here!