What is "Daisy to Sunflower?"



Van Gogh's "Sunflowers"



My obsession with sunflowers began nearly ten years ago when my father told me they reminded him of me. At first I was disappointed because I loved daisies as a girl, but I soon began to like the new flower much more. It was like a daisy, but richer hued. Like a daisy had been oxidized without wilting until its hues saturated into a vivid yellow with a browned center. It kind of resonated with me as I realized this that this would happen to me, too. As I got older I would no longer be a clean white daisy; I'm like a rolling stone and I knew I'd be getting dirty... "darker."
My affinity to sunflowers is not unlike Vincent Willem Van Gogh's obsession with The Flower. He is best known for all his sunflower still lifes and paintings. They also meant something deeper to him; they wilt so fast and change hue so quickly in the process that they reminded him of life and how quickly it changes.
Both Van Gogh and I see something truly meaningful within the Sunflower which we also see in ourselves. His paintings brought him friendship with another artist who loved them, so Van Gogh connotated Sunflowers with friendship as well as with gratitude. He painted many different versions of the print above and 2 of those versions were combined with a third painting depicting a woman, a mother, between them. Scholars say that he may have been inspired to create the triptych of the three pieces when he got sick and remembered his mother's care. One brings flowers to another to show gratitude and this may have been his way of showing it by carrying it out in his medium.

One thing that I see in sunflowers that Van Gogh could never see, because of his sex, is the symbolism of the flower as the nature of my feminity. I identified with it as a rapidly-changing teen, as a young woman, as a Bride, and now as the woman I am growing up to Be. All the stages of my life are represented within its growth, its hues' vibrancies, and its beauty.
I am the gesture drawing of a sunflower on a page in a sketchbook.
I am constantly changing.
I am looking toward the sun.
And I am beautiful.