This week has been kind of rough. Yesterday, rougher.
It's a very emotional time for me right now waiting for this baby to become a thing. I left work yesterday a couple hours early being blinded by involuntary tears (really?) and just went home to tear my once-office apart and get it cleared out more for baby space. It's all I can do when I can't be pregnant now, to get things ready for when we are.
Shawn came home, not too soon after I got there to find me ripping the office apart. He told me he knew I was upset and couldn't work knowing I was at home feeling like that. We hugged for a minute and continued to go to work on the house, but together. For the next three hours we sifted, sorted, cleaned and placed items we hadn't seen in years. I look into the rooms we got done in disbelief that shortly we'll soon be painting the baby room and stocking it shortly after. I was in a great place last night upon falling asleep, even into this morning. I even wore my sunflower.
Then this morning at our group breaksfast, someone broke the news, their "wife is pregnant. We weren't even trying! Isn't that great?!"
Of course it is, but I don't give 2 shits right now.
So I love me today because:
- I'm not so baby crazy that I trick Shawn into getting pregnant now.
- I'm pretty. All the time. Even first thing in the morning. (And so are you.)
- I wore a vintage shirt I bought last year and it's awesome.
- I get to clean up my high chair tonight.
Stumble it!
3 comments:
I'm sorry you're having a rough week. And I know that hearing about other's happiness right now, when you wish you were in their place is hard. Sounds like cleaning the office is a good step though, and will help you keep focus. One thing at a time! You'll get to your baby goal soon enough, and when the time comes, you'll look back on this period and know the wait was all worth it.
Hope you have a great weekend, and I can't wait to see how your high chair turns out!
@Morgan, thank you. I hope that is me soon, too. I just keep taking memory 'snaps' of how badly I want this child so that when we wake up for the 10th time and I want to scream, I'll remember that the scream sounds sweet compared to the silence in our house now.
Hope your weekend is fun, I can't wait to see your next project!
Hope you have a calm weekend. Love the sunflower.
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