Secretly Fabulous Friday

They say the devil is in the details. By withholding all details, I can say that today has (so far) been the most secretly fabulous day ever.
After trying acupuncture for my nausea and vomiting during pregnancy (NVP) on Wednesday I have been feeling... different.  I cried a bit during the appointment and it felt like some blockage was breaking up and being let out. Since then I have been crying a lot randomly and getting irrationally upset; for example I almost had a coronary last night over the fact that Sonic made my weeklong awaited Hot Fudge Sundae with freakin' chocolate syrup (which I HATE). My episodes of sickness have also become more mild but occur just as frequently (and thus are a bit more random and hard to see coming), which is what brings us to today.
I bought a new dress and a slip for it on Tuesday. I couldn't decide between pink and green but ended up going with the green one. I wanted the pink one so badly that my mom and dad offered to buy it for me; I just had to have the store look up the proprietary credit card and put it onto their account. We did that last night after tracking the pink dress down once more (over 2 stores) and I went home to wash it in order to wear it today. Luckily I also washed the green one, though it won't be apparent until later why that was lucky.

I got up today and was only a little sick. I started to feel better after a half hour and got ready, putting on my new dress with my new shoes and a leopard print cardigan. Some of my work gal pals told me I looked "so cute" in a little dress with my belly bump and I felt really good. I went to go get a burger at lunch and started to feel nauseous once I left with my to-go order. I sat and dealt with it a couple of times and thought it was over. I started down the road and it hit me like a ton of bricks, only this time I couldn't pull over and deal with it... I grabbed the emergency puke-towel in the car but it did no good; my poor dress, hair and sweater took it all. This was secretly fabulous because none of it got on the interior of the car.
I was only a block from work so I finished the drive, parked and called my boss to tell him what was going on. I After that I called one of my work friends to come and help me. Luckily she was already outside and came right over. She took my lunch and put it in the fridge while I went to the restrooms and tried to salvage my outfit in vain. She came to check on me and my dress was just not going to work. This was secretly fabulous because I ended up having to go home and change... into the green one! I also cleaned my hair out and had some cereal. I got back to work in time to stay for about an hour and a half; I have my first appointment with my backup doctor today.

So all in all, sparing any horrific details, I can say that today I got to wear both my new dresses, see my animals at lunch, and go back to work in time to leave again. What a Secretly Fabulous Friday!

Let the Sun shine... Let the Sunshine In...

Last month I learned something valuable that I will share at risk of sounding very young... even though I am very young.


via

A month ago today I shared that someone at my work's wife is suprise-pregnant... but I didn't share that this was announced the day after my first BFN (big fat negative)... Thursday night I was devastated, disappointed, sad, and so frustrated. I managed to pull myself together before work that next morning and continue on, sunflower upon my head and the skip in my step that is Friday. After that announcement I plunged back down to the place I had been. I didn't like it; I felt involuntarily miserable and thus more miserable.
After making it through most of the day I was finally at home, sulking to myself. One of my blog-sisters, Kim, emailed me to see how I was doing and I spilled the beans. I expected her to agree, to comiserate with me, and to tell me things I wanted to hear.  She didn't; she pissed me off.

She told me that she knows how frustrating it must be for me to be going through this in light of the announcement, but that I had to be happy for them.

WHAT?! But, but... ME!!! What about MEEEE?!

Her email continued, "the more joy you can let in your heart and less stress, the easier it will be to conceive."

WELL... hmm. Yeah... Maybe there's something to this...
So I thought about it. I examined where the pissed-off was coming from: me.
She doesn't know the people I work with; she knows and likes me. She wants to help me.
So I had to re-read the email with love in my heart. It sounded different in my head the second time.
"You know," I said to myself, "you'd want people to be happy for you."
True.
"So be happy for them; they're going to experience the joy of a child. This doesn't mean you won't..."

Also True. So instead of being negatively affected by the news, I chose to be happy and go towards all the feelings that ever make me sad/uncomfortable and get up close to them. Turns out that once you make that choice, to be happy, the negative feelings simply back down and fizzle; this last month has been the most joyous of my entire life.


Thanks for pissing me off, Kim. ;o)

The Best Bad News Ever

Yesterday I gave myself a stress headache from subconciously clenching my jaw over and over.
The culprit? "Would I have to do OFW?" stress.

I touched on not wanting to present at OFW last week and have been tossing, turning and rolling in bed for the past 32 days while my designer application floated out in space waiting for April 11. My body has already decided the stress from OFW was not the good kind that I can thrive on. Luckily today happens to be April 11th and I got an answer. A big, fat answer...