My clumsiness taught me about mom-worries...

20th Century Fox

"Oh god, oh god..." I screamed at first as I slid down the first two steps, "...no," the last bit came out as a whimper since I started to cry before my butt hit the step I had slid on. I was instantly sobbing from fright and worry for our baby. Shawn called out to me and started to sprint down the hall as I righted myself and continued to wail. 
I had done one of the things I have feared most since becoming pregnant: I fell on the stairs.

Shawn tried to calm me while I cried and cried. A million things rushed through my mind and I went to the bathroom to check for any amniotic fluid or blood. There was neither. I called my mom who shared a similar experience when she was pregnant with me, falling up a few stairs and landing on her knees; obviously things turned out fine for her and I.
It was only a little after 6 PM so the baby wasn't awake and kicking me yet, but at 7 PM it started to oblige as per its sleeping/kicking schedule. This morning all is still well albeit that the baby has shifted lower into my womb and is now kicking my cervix here and there. I have an appointment later this afternoon (16 weeks!) where I'll ask to have the baby's heartbeat checked via Doppler again. Until then, I can't worry about this. I prayed and Jah gave me a sense of Peace--or rather the sensation that I "should shut up and calm down; He's taking care of the baby better than we even know and has been this whole time." Even Shawn and my mother both gave me the same advice: "the worry you carry out could stress the baby more than falling like that ever could."
This put things into perspective for me and I realized that carrying around worry for my child isn't the same as carrying a badge of honor around. My child does not benefit whatsoever from me worrying or stressing out and it won't make me a better mother. I'll have to remember this later when our kid wants to cross the street, pet that big dog or go to school for the first time. And I really do have to let it go and give it to Jah, who has known, selected and protected our child before he or she was even in my body... cuz kids pick up on vibes even if they don't know what's going on precisely. And I want to help keep the good vibes going.

Good News & Mommy-Training

Happy Wednesday! FINALLY!

A lot of you know but some of you don't know that I have 7 animals. Yes, 7: 2 man-rats, 1 ferret, 3 cats and 1 pug. They are a ton of work but Shawn and I work together to make it all happen. I have sold myself short for the last time (as of yesterday) by saying that I don't have an idea of what it's like to have children just by comparing it to the work the sheer amount of animals we have take. I DO.

This was my Tuesday:

• Woke up at 5AM because I couldn't sleep anymore. I just got ready instead of laying there until I was tired enough to sleep but late enough that I couldn't.
• Did not get to work early. Just on time despite having 2 and a half hours to get ready.
• Worked a full day at work.
• Came home and planned to take a nap while the ferret ran around in the room for exercise.
• Instead cleaned up water-diarrhea that the ferret had all over the floor.
• Gave a wiggly, feisty ferret a bath.
• Cleaned up all the residual mess of half-done tasks invoked by weasel scat.

After that fiasco I looked up to see that it was just about time for Shawn to get home.
No nap for mommy.


ANGRY FAAAAACE!

Then I made dinner for our friends and their almost-2-year-old boy who are a delight. Dinner turned out well, we had just enough food and desserts for everyone, and they told me that Peach is more of a PITA than a new baby. And a toddler.

Much more.

After the day I had, to know that if I can deal with Peach that I can handle our future baby (in the eyes of experienced parents), I feel good about that. So good news there.

Cuz Peach is a crrrazy bitch sometimes; even if she looks sweet.

PS: I wore this today and I must say... I look good today. I'm having a "Jamie Moment!"