It's been a while, hasn't it? Almost a month, actually. A wild month...
I was going to recap what I went through but really, I just can't.
Suffice it to say being pregnant is not rainbows and lollipops; it is not fun to me at all. I'm happy I'm finally pregnant and the baby is healthy whenever we get checked, but this is no damn picnic. I am 10 weeks pregnant this week and feeling every bit of it.
All the notions I had about being glowy, experiencing brief nausea, eating as I always have, and walking on air are no longer clouding my head.
I have pimples everywhere where I once had beautiful skin; I won't even go into how bad the morning sickness has been (IV fluids... *cough*cough*); I eat like I used to when I was a child (and suffer the after-effects. Kim, you know...); and I don't even know whose boobs I have on my body right now but they are not mine.
I no longer know my body. It has become a stranger.
I fell off the yoga, meditation and astrology wagon. I no longer even think like myself anymore. I'm stressed, tired, and so-so-so emotional all the time. I started praying again this week, though. I had been a bit, but not as much like I used to at all. It's helping.
So today, even though I am being so hard on myself lately, I must say:
I love me because
Take care.
I was going to recap what I went through but really, I just can't.
Suffice it to say being pregnant is not rainbows and lollipops; it is not fun to me at all. I'm happy I'm finally pregnant and the baby is healthy whenever we get checked, but this is no damn picnic. I am 10 weeks pregnant this week and feeling every bit of it.
All the notions I had about being glowy, experiencing brief nausea, eating as I always have, and walking on air are no longer clouding my head.
I have pimples everywhere where I once had beautiful skin; I won't even go into how bad the morning sickness has been (IV fluids... *cough*cough*); I eat like I used to when I was a child (and suffer the after-effects. Kim, you know...); and I don't even know whose boobs I have on my body right now but they are not mine.
I no longer know my body. It has become a stranger.
I fell off the yoga, meditation and astrology wagon. I no longer even think like myself anymore. I'm stressed, tired, and so-so-so emotional all the time. I started praying again this week, though. I had been a bit, but not as much like I used to at all. It's helping.
So today, even though I am being so hard on myself lately, I must say:
I love me because
- At work, I just can't bring myself to GAF about all the idiots anymore. There are some lovely people here that really do care, and I concern myself with them.
- I take it easy; I have no choice, but I still am gentle with myself.
- Even in my pregnancy-induced insanity, I recognize how amazing Shawn is and how much he helps me. I'd be dead by now without him, many times over. Or in jail...
- My nails are growing like a mutha... they're pretty.
Take care.
Stumble it!
8 comments:
COngrats on your pregnancy but sorry to hear you're having so much difficulty. Once the baby is born though I think you'll forget all the morning sickness and discomfort . .
I can remember the nausea. It never went away. I feel it again now 27 years later after reading this. I did NOT enjoy being pregnant and was jealous of women who did.
You WILL feel better. It WILL get better.
In the meantime....Sleep. Get some sleep.
And keep us posted! :)
I so understand exactly what you are saying - you want to be so excited but your whole life is on hold, unrecognizable - only a little over 200 days to go.AGHGHAGHAGHGHAGH!
hugs!
Congratulations! But you have ever right to feel that way. Pregnancy is one of those things that people talk about with rose colored glasses. It's probably easier to appreciate it once you have a healthy baby in your arms, and less during morning sickness! Hope you fell better!
Hi love, hope u had a great weekend. I just nominated for the Liebster Awards. Please, pop in my blog for more details, so that we can keep spreading the blogging love around, right? XOXO
I hope you feel better soon :( I often hear that the first trimester is the hardest?? but who knows, I certainly can't tell you from experience...I'm sure you're just writing out what so many woman actually feel - but never actually admit. You'll be fine and it will all be worth it in the end :)
Oh Hill, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time with your pregnancy, but like Laura said, I think it's great that you're sharing your honest experience. A lot of women don't candidly share the not-so-nice-parts. Remember that you are beautiful and amazing, even when you don't feel like it, and that you are loved very much! Muah!
Oh boy, hope you are feeling a bit better today. Sending huge hugs your way, darling. Kisses
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