It's been a week and a half since I've posted... I just can't think of what to post sometimes. I'm going through a high-stress period. I don't want to be negative or share anyone else's life-happenings even if they affect mine. Someone very close to us lost their baby right before the due-date just after Christmas and last week was about trying to relax and stay calm while supporting them as well.
We really got whammied the 10 days after Christmas: Christmas dinner at our house; the bad news I just shared above; New Year's; my 120th day of Pregnancy; and the funeral closed the week.
We had massages last Wednesday to try to prepare and relax so I'd be in a space that was good for the baby's soul on Thursday but I wasn't able to get comfortable and I just worried the whole time about being face down (even with the hole in the table), being too hot, etc. I also endured getting kicked for an hour while the curious baby inside me attempted to find out what the massage table was exactly. I actually hurt more now (especially my hips) from tensing up constantly and trying to hold myself in a position that didn't hurt... which hurt more. I'm kind of mad about it; not at the massage place but just at the experience. If Shawn hadn't enjoyed his massage I'd consider all that money wasted.
I think I'm just really overwhelmed; we don't have anything for the baby and my plans for a homebirth kind of just went down the drain yesterday--the midwife won't come to this state for quite a while--and I don't blame her. So it's like I'm halway done cooking this baby (pray for no preterm labor, which is my current obsession-fear) and just starting out preparing for it. I'm stressed.
The bright side: I (finally) successfully made booties...