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24 January 2014

7 Months Postpartum - "I have a Bikini Body!"

Back in September while marveling at the growth Bernice had already accomplished I was not feeling so great about the way my body had grown after having my baby. When I got pregnant I felt like I was going through puberty and after I had given birth it felt the same but possibly more intense. I felt like I was wearing a sweater that was stretched out in all the wrong places all the time. All the changes to my body making it seem unfamiliar in a negative way... but I have started to fall in love with myself again now.

This morning I found this amazing image:


And I said damn right.
And I started to think of myself in the context of the image... 
Then this morning on my daily (semi-daily) call to my mother we talked about how I left the house without ANY makeup on without realizing it. She told me about the first time anyone had seen her outside our family without eye makeup on a couple weeks ago at work. We laughed and laughed and she stated she was surprised no one actually said anything.
"Do you know why, Mom?" I asked, then continued, "Because you are so much more to them. You take care of their kids."
And then I thought of myself in the context of my own statement.
Bernice coo'ed from the backseat to us and our speakerphone conversation.
I finished the call and my errands all the while thinking. Letting it all sink in. All the beauty the universe had just shown me in myself, my mother, and the other ladies in my life--and the day wasn't even half over.
I think my husband noticed I was 'different' today before I realized it myself. He unsolicitedly looked me in the eye mid-conversation at lunch and said "You are so beautiful."
He says it all the time, but... damn. This time it hit me. He ALWAYS means it, but only this one time had I finally accepted it for once.

I went home and put on a bikini.
I felt like a 'reset' button had been hit inside me. 
I felt like I grew into my skin today... the sweater fits perfectly ;o)
I felt beautiful today. With no makeup on and without a shower (and I was pooped on, today PEOPLE!).

I felt beautiful.

Because I am so much more than tight-fitting skin. I am a beautiful person, woman, wife, mother and daughter.

9 comments:

Kimberly Chandler said...Reply to comment

AMAZING post! What a beautiful way to look at our lives/bodies/souls. It's hard in this world, so bravo - you are an inspiration!

Morgan said...Reply to comment

This is such a beautiful post (and so are you!). <3

Heather said...Reply to comment

Another beautiful and inspiring post, my friend! You are beautiful in every way.

The Flirty Girl said...Reply to comment

Welcome to the no make up club! I have always felt that your natural beauty has always transcended the make up you've worn in photos in the past. You are so naturally beautiful it simply radiates out of you from within.

HiLLjO said...Reply to comment

@Kimberly Chandler, thanks ;) Now let's see your beautiful scar from E soon, too!

HiLLjO said...Reply to comment

@Morganand so are you! :D

HiLLjO said...Reply to comment

@HeatherThank you, Heather. You're beautiful :D

HiLLjO said...Reply to comment

@The Flirty Girl Stacie! Aww! that made me all teary. Especially coming from a beauty like you.

Laura said...Reply to comment

such a great post, I think you look amazing, and I'm so glad you've come to this place emotionally and physically. I am struggling with some body issues as the weight has not "fallen off" the way I thought it would postpartum. I'm having trouble getting motivated to start working out again and I so so hope I can be bikini ready by summer..but you're right. We're all bikini ready, it's just in our head if we're not. We are all doing the best we can, just like you..and you are doing great!

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Thank you for coming by to read my experiences as a wife and what came before it, as well. My husband Shawn and I were married June 10, 2011 in Omaha, NE! I enjoy sharing my stories and hearing other people's stories so please feel free to share any in the comments (especially dress stories!). I LOVE comments!

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