TMI Post #1: What "trying" means to Us.

Over the weekend following the Friday post several family members showed me their love by making their best attempts at making me feel better.

"don't stress."
"just relax."
"stop trying."

However, it should be noted that "don't stress" and "just relax" has never been good fertility advice and it never will be; it actually makes the person trying to conceive stress more and relax less. Besides, it's hurtful to be told "don't feel this way" when you are allowing yourself to feel however you want... feelings aren't wrong; only what you do with them can be. It would be much more gentle to simply ask, "how are you feeling?" than to assume I'm feeling upset, stressed, or anything else! I'd love the chance to discuss my feelings by starting the conversation with that question than starting from a defensive place because the way I feel has been assumed.
And the bit about "stop trying" doesn't sound as bad as it might seem: it's meant more like, "just let it happen."  But if you knew what our definition of "trying" was in the first place this might seem (and did for a minute) like a suggestion that we shouldn't have children at all.

So if you would like me to explain what we mean by "we're trying," click the link below to continue after the jump.

It's Friday, I'm in LoVE! #26

Then only thing keeping me from writing this post entirely out of obscenities (or at least the first paragraph) is the fact that I can get drunk tonight.

Yup, the whooooore showed up.


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Firstly, please don't tell me you're sorry; I know you are and I love you, but hearing this has just been making me well up and throw shit today. Women are wired to agree and my estrogen is very high right now, so if you're sorry, then I'll be sorry and I don't want to be! Instead, leave me a comment with an activity I couldn't do if I were pregnant.

I honestly did really well this morning when I woke up to her ugly ass face. I can handle either outcome but not knowing is the WORST.

So today I love me because:

1. I'm getting drunk. All weekend.
2. I'm elbows-deep in crochet baby hoodies
3. I'm making a hoodie for the surprise-pregnant people at work. 7 weeks ago I was bitter.
4. I'm really happy for the women who got pregnant this month that I talk to on fertility websites. Really. Jealous, but genuinely happy for them.
5. I love my cats.
6. I'm going to try to love Peach better. She's just soooo damn crazy all the time.
7. I'm letting myself feel however I want today.

Have a nice weekend.

Hang in There, Baby!

No news(usually)=good news, but in my case: no blog news=no news.

Everywhere I look are 13's... I know I am doing right by myself no matter what, I just have to have faith and well,

I also found a chart that made me feel SO much better about levels of pregnancy hormone in your body based on days past ovulation (DPO). Apparently if you have no AF (Aunt Flo!) and it's not 18DPO, you're not out of the game! YAY!


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Today I had to work and I blasted through too much of today's and tomorrow's work in the first hour I was here... WOMP. So I'm keeping myself busy with music and finding positive things like the kitty picture and Lady Gaga Youtube videos. My ascendant horoscope:

"If you're either worrying about the future or feeling guilty about the past, you're not enjoying the moment!"

Only 2 months ago I didn't even know if we could try to have children. We've come a long way.

"...it's alright, a-alright
Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance."

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T-Minus 4 Days

I have had really good days during this 2-week wait... and today is not one of them.
I cycle between being hopeful, happy with anticipation, optimistic, and then crazy.
Take a guess at what today is...!

I am just thankful that I get out of work early today and can go home to nap. Then Shawn said he'll buy me a digital test at the store for Saturday morning. As of right now, I have no AF (Aunt Flo... guess who that is), no squinters (faint + lines on any tests), and no clue... I just have to wait.

I couldn't even "cheat" and test early; there's nothing there.
So until further notice, I'm keeping myself busy with yoga, crochet and taking cat pictures.
Enjoy.