This morning I said I hadn't heard anything about the status of my application for a job I wanted at work, but this afternoon I got word: no.
No Fashion Week.
No Design Job.
Why can't I get a freaking interview this month? It's kind of funny...
And I can't explain to you, this urge to cry... and to not cry.
I've been emotional all day (it's a bad babycrack day) but the tears are not for a delayed opportunity that's not a "no" so much as a "not yet;" the tears I can feel in my throat accompany the yearning in my heart for our baby. I can barely stand waiting anymore. When it gets this bad I pray {in my own way} to Jah to either calm my heart or to give me my baby now... ususally it calms almost instantly, but today the storm rages inside me... do I dare hope it's almost time?
I'd like a Yes. To something.
I'm so ready.
No Fashion Week.
No Design Job.
Why can't I get a freaking interview this month? It's kind of funny...
And I can't explain to you, this urge to cry... and to not cry.
I've been emotional all day (it's a bad babycrack day) but the tears are not for a delayed opportunity that's not a "no" so much as a "not yet;" the tears I can feel in my throat accompany the yearning in my heart for our baby. I can barely stand waiting anymore. When it gets this bad I pray {in my own way} to Jah to either calm my heart or to give me my baby now... ususally it calms almost instantly, but today the storm rages inside me... do I dare hope it's almost time?
I'd like a Yes. To something.
I'm so ready.
Stumble it!
3 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear you got a no about the job, Hillary. I know you really wanted it, but you definitely shouldn't let it discourage you. You are a great designer and on your way to great things. I remember feeling so disappointed a couple times in the past when things didn't work out job-wise, school-acceptance-wise, etc., but in the end, it just wasn't the right thing for me at that time. I believe the same is true for you, that there's something bigger and better waiting. I truly hope your baby dreams come true very soon, and I'll of course be here supporting you and sending love your way, as always, no matter what.
If your passionate about what you do and you trust in the universe, everything you want in life will come in time.
Actually I'm like the worst advice giver ever. I do wish you luck though and I hope something better comes along.
XOXO!
Ohh I am so sorry about the job, sweetie. Wish I could give you a hug right now. Btw: You will be an amazing mama...very soon! Muah
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