Tuesday was apparently "Try to Make Hillary Defend Her & Shawn's Parenting Choices Day." From cloth diapering to unmedicated birth, I was called stupid and received eye-rolls for things I really believe in. I don't remember how the cloth diapering came up at work, but I was asked directly if I was cloth diapering and when I replied "yes," I was told "You're stupid" by a mother of 2 children and a new dad of a baby under 6 months. I just shot back gently that "90% of babies were cloth diapered in the '50's," and that "it's our choice." We don't have a 1950's model washing machine... I'm sure it can be done now with the new technology of our fandangled agitator washer. I was lightly backed up by another person present who had actually been cloth diapered as a baby and he said his mom did just fine with it about 40 or 50 years ago.
I thought I had made it through the day with my one parenting mini-battle but it was not the case. Later we went to the hospital I chose in case we have a premature labor event (which WON'T happen) and we were touring with one other pregnant couple who were also expecting their first baby in just a few weeks. The nurse giving the tour asked if anyone was doing natural (unmedicated!) labor and birth and I waived my hand at her. I noticed the other mommy-to-be rolling her eyes at me and whispering something to her husband as the nurse began to explain how the hospital bed can change positions to assist with that process.What. The. Fuck.
I sat quietly and politely and listened when the nurse discussed epidurals and things that don't apply to me without judging her choices. That was really, really sad that she reacted to my choice. Every woman deserves respect and honor for her chosen and desired birth experience, whatever that may be. You don't have to agree with someone else's birth plan, but it's not yours; you won't have to go through her birth. As a fellow woman I support any woman's choices during her birth that she wants to make because I would want the same respect to make my own choices during mine.
Everything at the hospital itself was pleasantly surprising and we feel really good if we have to end up there for something so unpleasant to experience as the fear of premature labor and delivery (which WON'T happen).
After the tour I asked Shawn if he saw her do that and he said that yes, he had. Then I told him about the cloth diaper war and we had a long discussion about commonality with the birth experience and what happens when someone chooses something less common. The plain fact of the matter is that a lot of people have epidurals and c-sections; a lot of people use disposable diapers; and a lot of people find out the sex of the baby before it is born. So when people find out through their own inquiries that we are doing none of those things, I don't think people believe it, so they scoff. They probably have no first-hand experience doing what we are going to attempt and have possibly never even had second-hand experience through anyone else. But that's the thing: these are all experiences that are individual to each person going through them. No birth experience is the same, ever. We can all learn from each other so be curious, not judgemental.
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