The Uncommon Effect

Tuesday was apparently "Try to Make Hillary Defend Her & Shawn's Parenting Choices Day." From cloth diapering to unmedicated birth, I was called stupid and received eye-rolls for things I really believe in. I don't remember how the cloth diapering came up at work, but I was asked directly if I was cloth diapering and when I replied "yes," I was told "You're stupid" by a mother of 2 children and a new dad of a baby under 6 months. I just shot back gently that "90% of babies were cloth diapered in the '50's," and that "it's our choice." We don't have a 1950's model washing machine... I'm sure it can be done now with the new technology of our fandangled agitator washer. I was lightly backed up by another person present who had actually been cloth diapered as a baby and he said his mom did just fine with it about 40 or 50 years ago.

I thought I had made it through the day with my one parenting mini-battle but it was not the case. Later we went to the hospital I chose in case we have a premature labor event (which WON'T happen) and we were touring with one other pregnant couple who were also expecting their first baby in just a few weeks. The nurse giving the tour asked if anyone was doing natural (unmedicated!) labor and birth and I waived my hand at her. I noticed the other mommy-to-be rolling her eyes at me and whispering something to her husband as the nurse began to explain how the hospital bed can change positions to assist with that process.

What. The. Fuck.
I sat quietly and politely and listened when the nurse discussed epidurals and things that don't apply to me without judging her choices. That was really, really sad that she reacted to my choice. Every woman deserves respect and honor for her chosen and desired birth experience, whatever that may be. You don't have to agree with someone else's birth plan, but it's not yours; you won't have to go through her birth. As a fellow woman I support any woman's choices during her birth that she wants to make because I would want the same respect to make my own choices during mine.
Everything at the hospital itself was pleasantly surprising and we feel really good if we have to end up there for something so unpleasant to experience as the fear of premature labor and delivery (which WON'T happen).
After the tour I asked Shawn if he saw her do that and he said that yes, he had. Then I told him about the cloth diaper war and we had a long discussion about commonality with the birth experience and what happens when someone chooses something less common. The plain fact of the matter is that a lot of people have epidurals and c-sections; a lot of people use disposable diapers; and a lot of people find out the sex of the baby before it is born. So when people find out through their own inquiries that we are doing none of those things, I don't think people believe it, so they scoff. They probably have no first-hand experience doing what we are going to attempt and have possibly never even had second-hand experience through anyone else. But that's the thing: these are all experiences that are individual to each person going through them. No birth experience is the same, ever. We can all learn from each other so be curious, not judgemental.

To voice your opinions on the baby's sex, weight, date of birth and more visit here!

Can I just say...

Any person, woman or man, has the right to do whatever she or he thinks is right for themselves. No one should be made to feel as though they must do anything but, no one must be ridiculed for doing what they feel is right, either.
Especially about the topics of birth, life and death: these are incredibly personal and unique experiences for us humans and we all feel very strongly about them.

Let us be and stay curious rather than become judgemental. Let us see what will happen.

It's Friday, I LoVE... my family!

This week, though challenging, reminded me of how strong I am and how much I love my family. We are strong together, and we have so much love for each other.

Shawn and I are doing very well. We're ready for more adventures of all kinds and have discovered the mindset that the future baby had better get ready for US.

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I had been suffering anxiety since Monday after I knew this cycle was a bust again. My parents invited us to dinner at their house which took a huge burden off of my back as the last thing I wanted to do was to cook. My mom's roast is like eating a hug.

I tried to chill out but I had chest pains from my muscles tightening and even experienced a panic attack while Shawn was trying to take me out for sushi and a Mai Tai on Tuesday. I went to the doctor yesterday and asked for anxiety medication. I also had my blood ran for pituitary abnormalities (all normal!) and my thyroid checked (also normal!) so I am balanced in the hormone department... And I don't really want to take it the medication.
I just started feeling like me; I don't want to lose that--or my libido (need that to make a baby, people!)--by taking medication that could cause panic attacks...
I slept on the decision and woke up today with no chest pain and a kick-ass attitude.
I also woke up to see that the huge, painful hematoma from the blood draw had flattened, leaving a lovely array of blues, pinks and purples in my elbow-pit. It doesn't hurt anymore either!

I won't go into detail because it's not about me, but Grandpa had a stroke and is recovering now. I always love being in a room full of our family, and I still felt like that last night even though the room was a hospital room. Grandpa's still very much himself, muttering an "Aww, hell" every now and again.

I'm glad it's Friday and that I have such a wonderful and large family that cares for each other.
Keep us all in your thoughts, prayers and meditations. You're in ours!

I, for one, love my husband.

I resisted Pinterest ALL day. I made my bloggy reading-and-commenting rounds and continued working today instead of logging on... until 5 minutes ago!

What a mistake that was.

All I get from Pinterest is pissed off anymore. There is a slew of people making light of talking bad about their partners, and specifically husbands, on there in the form of repins of stupid quotes.





I can't take more than citing just 2 Pins I disagree with here. It's not that I don't have a sense of humor because trust me, I DO. But to me, it is the equivalent of men reducing women to their appearance to reduce a man to his faults.
I, for one, love my husband. So. Damn. Much.
To make light of his emotions and to not take into account how much he does for us would be a crying shame. Partners need to raise up each other with love and kindness and appreciation.
My husband is a man of character and that is why I wanted to marry him. I didn't want to get married before I knew him, but after I met him I only wanted to be married to him.
If we disagree, we argue with respect for each other and work through our differences. That doesn't mean one bends to the ideas of the other; it means we respect each other enough to let the other own their own thoughts.
My husband cannot be nagged. No one likes it, so why would he? If he was going to do something around the house and he has not done it yet, I simply (READ:)Let. It. Go. 10 times out of 10 the next time I think about it, he has already done it.
My husband is my best friend and he teaches me so many things by sharing what he learns about the world. He reads everyday. He researches for the sake of knowing something for himself. He is truly intelligent for seeking information for no other purpose than his own curiosity. He has taught me so much, and I hope what I'm sharing with him teaches him, too.
My husband is cool. He has style; he never wears jeans, just Dickies pants. I really love how he dresses as an individual. He likes good music that we both enjoy and has introduced me to bands I love who I'd never heard of before. He is open minded and open hearted and this just allows all kinds of cool things to rush in.
My husband encourages me by always believing in me. He sees how determined I get about so many things, and he never undermines it with reality. He's just there for me when I fall short to remind me of how far I got when I started with nothing.
My husband loves me. He shows and tells me everyday. Do you know what he told me this morning? That he keeps thinking about how I look when I smile and how precious I am to him. Yes, he is real.

So join me in my challenge to you, dear readers: RISE UP AND LOVE YOUR PARTNER. Be a true partner to your spouse, fiance/e, boyfriend, girlfriend, and show the world that "They are More."