The Uncommon Effect

Tuesday was apparently "Try to Make Hillary Defend Her & Shawn's Parenting Choices Day." From cloth diapering to unmedicated birth, I was called stupid and received eye-rolls for things I really believe in. I don't remember how the cloth diapering came up at work, but I was asked directly if I was cloth diapering and when I replied "yes," I was told "You're stupid" by a mother of 2 children and a new dad of a baby under 6 months. I just shot back gently that "90% of babies were cloth diapered in the '50's," and that "it's our choice." We don't have a 1950's model washing machine... I'm sure it can be done now with the new technology of our fandangled agitator washer. I was lightly backed up by another person present who had actually been cloth diapered as a baby and he said his mom did just fine with it about 40 or 50 years ago.

I thought I had made it through the day with my one parenting mini-battle but it was not the case. Later we went to the hospital I chose in case we have a premature labor event (which WON'T happen) and we were touring with one other pregnant couple who were also expecting their first baby in just a few weeks. The nurse giving the tour asked if anyone was doing natural (unmedicated!) labor and birth and I waived my hand at her. I noticed the other mommy-to-be rolling her eyes at me and whispering something to her husband as the nurse began to explain how the hospital bed can change positions to assist with that process.

What. The. Fuck.
I sat quietly and politely and listened when the nurse discussed epidurals and things that don't apply to me without judging her choices. That was really, really sad that she reacted to my choice. Every woman deserves respect and honor for her chosen and desired birth experience, whatever that may be. You don't have to agree with someone else's birth plan, but it's not yours; you won't have to go through her birth. As a fellow woman I support any woman's choices during her birth that she wants to make because I would want the same respect to make my own choices during mine.
Everything at the hospital itself was pleasantly surprising and we feel really good if we have to end up there for something so unpleasant to experience as the fear of premature labor and delivery (which WON'T happen).
After the tour I asked Shawn if he saw her do that and he said that yes, he had. Then I told him about the cloth diaper war and we had a long discussion about commonality with the birth experience and what happens when someone chooses something less common. The plain fact of the matter is that a lot of people have epidurals and c-sections; a lot of people use disposable diapers; and a lot of people find out the sex of the baby before it is born. So when people find out through their own inquiries that we are doing none of those things, I don't think people believe it, so they scoff. They probably have no first-hand experience doing what we are going to attempt and have possibly never even had second-hand experience through anyone else. But that's the thing: these are all experiences that are individual to each person going through them. No birth experience is the same, ever. We can all learn from each other so be curious, not judgemental.

To voice your opinions on the baby's sex, weight, date of birth and more visit here!

How to No-Poo

This post is not related to weddings, being married OR trying to have a baby. Rather, it is something I think could help folks attempting to break up with their shampoo bottles. After 2 years of not using Shampoo, I have some things to say and to share about No-Poo.

Remember, the great thing about going No-Poo is that you get to find out what works for YOU by experimenting and trying different combinations of ingredients, days you wash, and days you condition.

Last year I shared that I am No-Poo. I went No-Poo for several reasons. We used to use REDKEN shampoo and it's expensive; I'm sensitive to Sulfates; Sulfates break and strip hair causing the "attenae effect" when standing in front of a light source. Since being No-Poo instead of breaking, my hair stretches 1-3" before finally snapping. It's very strong, thick and doesn't "shellaque" to my head like it did when I shampooed. It's shiny and resembles my hair when I was young, only thicker.

So let's get down to how this works. It's not easy, per se; it's an adjustment!

You will need:
16 oz. box of baking soda (buy the big box! it's cheap enough!)
1 Liter/tall bottle of Vinegar (I use apple cider [not flavored] vinegar)
Large tumbler cup (plastic won't break but needs to be replaced weekly)

To prepare to wash your hair, run as hot of shower water as your scalp can take. Rinse your hair througoughly while scrubbing your scalp lightly with your fingertips (this is how you 'clean' your hair between washings in the adjustment phase below). In your tumbler sprinkle the amount of baking soda you will use (less for short hair, more for long) with just enough shower water to make a paste. To wash my very long hair, I turn upside down to scrub the back of my head and scalp better. Once it's worked in on your scalp ONLY, rinse throughougly until you can't feel 'grains' from the soda. This is the "shampoo" part.

To "condition" take the cup and rinse it out, add about 2 tablespoons of vinegar to the cup (more if you need more) and add water. Try to concentrate the rinse on the ends of your hair. You can rinse it right away or leave it on a minute. Rinse very well! If you still smell vinegar, you need to rinse more! The reason this works is because the pH of vinegar is lower than water and leaves your hair soft and shiny. If I condition my roots, they get greasy faster so I actually don't condition more than once a month. If you have dry hair, you might need to do it more.

Now a warning: Your hair will look not-so-great for around 2 weeks after you try this. Like I said, it's an adjustment!!! The reason your hair will get so greasy at first is because it is used to being stripped of its natural oils by shampoo and rapidly producing more to replace it, causing you to shampoo again. After your hair realizes you aren't doing this anymore, it will slow oil production and look GREAT. If you have any questions about the No-Poo process at all, please email me! I have 2 years of experience with it and LOVE it. I would LOVE to help you!