TMI Post #1: What "trying" means to Us.

Over the weekend following the Friday post several family members showed me their love by making their best attempts at making me feel better.

"don't stress."
"just relax."
"stop trying."

However, it should be noted that "don't stress" and "just relax" has never been good fertility advice and it never will be; it actually makes the person trying to conceive stress more and relax less. Besides, it's hurtful to be told "don't feel this way" when you are allowing yourself to feel however you want... feelings aren't wrong; only what you do with them can be. It would be much more gentle to simply ask, "how are you feeling?" than to assume I'm feeling upset, stressed, or anything else! I'd love the chance to discuss my feelings by starting the conversation with that question than starting from a defensive place because the way I feel has been assumed.
And the bit about "stop trying" doesn't sound as bad as it might seem: it's meant more like, "just let it happen."  But if you knew what our definition of "trying" was in the first place this might seem (and did for a minute) like a suggestion that we shouldn't have children at all.

So if you would like me to explain what we mean by "we're trying," click the link below to continue after the jump.

Make me laugh... in bed.

I believe in privacy. And the sacredness of intimacy. But I believe in honesty, too.

I've carefully but candidly written a short post at H. and S. about a slice of our bedroom life. It's not ridden with sordid details or advice on the best positions; it's about how we find ourselves making each other laugh. In bed. And I love it.





And yes, if you're wondering, I would let my mother read it.