It's Friday, I'm in LoVE!!! #35



M63, the Sunflower Galaxy via celestialwonders

Today I love me because:

1. I am master of understanding my emotions.
2. I admit: After a whole month of not giving one single **** and even hoping for more time without a baby, I'm getting the desperation pangs back.
3. "Relax," "breathe," "it'll happen," don't upset me anymore. It reminds me to do those things exactly. Besides, how nice is it that someone "just knows it'll happen?" Makes my worry shrink.
4. I realize that I'm eating more and that'd be fine with my activity level but it's been carbs and sugar... I'm going to replace that with veggies.
5. I decided to leave my job after I have the baby to open a home daycare.
6. I'm going to paint my damn front door finally. Orange. Maybe even this weekend!

Thank you to my family and friends and to Shawn for sticking with me and for all the love and support. It helps.

And Shawn,
you will never know how much you do for me. I love you.

What is this called...? Oh, human.

via Maarten 

Today is very trying for me. It could be better but it sure could be worse.

Hell, it could be Friday. Some of you may have thought it was. Anyways...
I'm trying to continue seeing the forest for the trees but I feel just so downtrodden. I know better; I am fabulous right now. But I'm just addicted to a behavior pattern that goes:
Happy --> Content --> Bored --> Lazy --> Depressed --> Guilt
I blame this on being an adaptive human; I adapt to my surroundings whether they are shitty or whether they are good, and I get used to them instead of trying to change them/appreciate them any longer.
I want my behavior pattern to look like:
*Happy --> Content --> Curious --> Enlightened -->* Happy, repeat from * to *

I just need to work on my focus, I think.
See the trees...
Just breathe.

Love.

1 week down, 1 week to go...

Ugh. Now I remember what the two week wait hell is like. The first week you can keep it together quite well, and then the 2nd week starts and Ppbbtt!

Oh well. I'm being gentle with myself and not stressing out or getting upset at like, anything.

Ohhh you want to cut me off today? That's your path! I'll just be over here on mine, zenned out listening to Pink Floyd in my new carrrrrr...

Yeah, Shawn got me a black Honda Accord with 4 doors for when the baby finally decides to exist. Geeeze, baby. Take forever... OK, don't...

Sorry I haven't been blogging as much as I usually do; I've been really busy at work. Plus, not writing day after day during the 2 week wait helps stave off my impatience and I'd like to nurture that, mmmkay? I'm also sorry this post is so allover the place but I wanted to update the blog before Friday so as not to be quite so random.

ME?! Random... please... ppbbtt...

It's Friday, I'm in LoVE!!! #34

Short weeks always seem just as long, don't they?

Painting by JoeledBetter

It's Friday in any case, though. Shawn is sick at home and I am at work. I'll be leaving early today!

Today I love me because:

1. My patience is just sooo awesome right now.
2. I started taking an herb (nettles) to help with the after-thePill effects I've been dealing with for the last several months.
3. I am so committed to my yoga and walking. I do it everyday!
4. I didn't make an entire post about the two week wait starting again. But we're there.
5. I am taking really good care of myself.
6. I put off grocery shopping all week. I know, badass.

Have a nice weekend, everyone!

Transformation Complete

I have done it.



I am me.



SO me.

I have wings.
I have bared my soul to my kindred spririt, Shawn.
I know in my heart more than I could ever learn from the outside.

And I am so happy.

I'm going on a blog-and-work staycation from now until Monday 8/20/12 for the rest of the two week wait. I hope to come back with good news; keep praying, hoping, meditating and colloiding that light you're making for me in the form of sticky baby thoughts.

Love to you all. Namaste.

It's Friday, I'm in LoVE!!! #31

I am soooo soooo glad it is Friday. Gonna make some cookies later...


I do not know where Cookie Bunnay comes from, but I love it. 

 Today I love me because:

1. I missed what I thought would be my testing date this month without even thinking about it.
2. We're taking a stay-cation next weekend. Woohoo, sleeping in!
3. I believe we're in the two-week wait again.
4. My hair has been awesome for a little while now...
5. I signed a Petition against Public Schools forcing pregnancy tests on female would-be students (and denying them the opportunity to be students if the tests are positive).

Have a nice weekend!
If you're in a reading mood, check out the Denver trip: day 1, 2, 3
Or the fried avocado recipe.

Hang in There, Baby!

No news(usually)=good news, but in my case: no blog news=no news.

Everywhere I look are 13's... I know I am doing right by myself no matter what, I just have to have faith and well,

I also found a chart that made me feel SO much better about levels of pregnancy hormone in your body based on days past ovulation (DPO). Apparently if you have no AF (Aunt Flo!) and it's not 18DPO, you're not out of the game! YAY!


via

Today I had to work and I blasted through too much of today's and tomorrow's work in the first hour I was here... WOMP. So I'm keeping myself busy with music and finding positive things like the kitty picture and Lady Gaga Youtube videos. My ascendant horoscope:

"If you're either worrying about the future or feeling guilty about the past, you're not enjoying the moment!"

Only 2 months ago I didn't even know if we could try to have children. We've come a long way.

"...it's alright, a-alright
Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance."

T-Minus 4 Days

I have had really good days during this 2-week wait... and today is not one of them.
I cycle between being hopeful, happy with anticipation, optimistic, and then crazy.
Take a guess at what today is...!

I am just thankful that I get out of work early today and can go home to nap. Then Shawn said he'll buy me a digital test at the store for Saturday morning. As of right now, I have no AF (Aunt Flo... guess who that is), no squinters (faint + lines on any tests), and no clue... I just have to wait.

I couldn't even "cheat" and test early; there's nothing there.
So until further notice, I'm keeping myself busy with yoga, crochet and taking cat pictures.
Enjoy.

TTC Adventure #2: The Two Week Wait

Here we are, damn-near smack in the middle of something people charting/trying to conceive call the "Two Week Wait" "2WW" or "hell."
All month you wait to release an egg, then the rest of the month you wait to pee on a stick. What's the big deal? It's 2 weeks right? WRONG. During this time, some women get a little--crazed. I could almost be included in that if I weren't keeping myself so darn Zen constantly and dismissing any creeping negative thoughts. Learning about fertility astrology to keep myself entertained in a proactive-feeling way helps... that and chart-staring (NOT).

"WHY WON'T THE SECRET PREGNANCY CODE IN MY BBT CHART APPEAR?!"

Symptom-charting replaces OPK's and everything seems like it could be an indicator of pregnancy. Gas? Write it down!!!
I'm only doing this during the day when I'm not home and I find myself bored. Then at home I pretty much "ground" myself like I did from Pinterest because that worked; this is, too.

Some also start testing too early with the home pregnancy tests and continue to test everyday of the 2WW. I already know I cannot do that to myself; BFN's DESTROY ME.
I also decided that "drinking 'til it's pink" is not for me, either. I did not have a margarita last night when we were out for Mexican food and Shawn had one. I didn't even ask or have a sip. It's not "good" or "bad," nor is it "easy" or "hard." It's just my choice.

via 

So since my parents will be out of town until the 2WW is over (and that is not conducive to a newsbreaking meeting to all potential future grandparents), I am waiting. Some days I am more patient than others... today: eh.  Hang in there with me, won't you?

I has a happy.

via

Happy Monday!

I am proud of myself and have been since Saturday and Sunday, too.

For such great anticipation the next 2 weeks will be, I am so patient. And so happy. And so peaceful.

...for now.

Hee hee! Have a nice evening!