Peace + Pregnant Cavewomen + Dingos

Monday I removed my medicine pump. The side effects were making me miserable and I needed a break. I was scared to start vomiting again, but it has been almost a full 48 hours and I only gagged a bit this morning because I didn't eat in time. Other than hungry nausea, I am fine!

I returned to yoga again, every day so far for at least 10 minutes. I also meditate/pray and that has been the most powerful mechanism for me in the last 5 days. I don't dislike being pregnant anymore. Feeling connected with myself and the Universe once again has calmed me greatly and even started to make me like my body again. This morning I thought I looked pretty finally. For the first time in a long time.

Being pregnant ain't no picnic, but it is important and amazing. Of all the crafty things I do and make, this baby is by far the coolest thing I have ever made with my body. It's hard to explain the peace that came over me last night during my meditation. It did make me consciously realize that I have become something I always wanted to be as well... a Wild Human.

By Wild Human, I mean driven by instinct and removed from the domestication of the masses, then left to evolve separately from the pack into something similar to but not like a domestic human at all. It's almost like being a human-dingo.

Being pregnant, something so ancient yet still common among human women, is very primal. You are driven by food almost entirely; your day revolves around eating. I eat more than 5 times a day! Even though they are small meals and snacks, that's a lot of time taken up for the sole purpose of foraging, gathering and eating.

Pregnant women are also driven by hormones, the most primal of all chemical messengers. I am feeling all sorts of things everyday. It makes me very defensive in lots of different ways: I cry (defense mechanism), become irrational (reassurance/isolation mechanism), and can be very sensitive at times (protective mechanism). Some thoughts that come into my head of the irrational variety I know must have been thought by pregnant cave women long ago. There's no other way to explain some of these feelings.

So for now I go forth with my shiny pregnant hair and long pregnant fingernails, both of which are growing like mad, and enjoy today. Because that's all I have for sure and I don't want to take any of it for granted.

I'm growing a human; this is awesome.

2012-2013 Mantras

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While I meditate and do yoga I repeat positive things to myself that are helpful throughout my day no matter what I am doing. To share (and so I remember!!!) here are some good ones:

"I am safe."
"Open my heart. As wide as it can be."
"I am love."
"Everything is as it should be."
"I am relaxed."

After taking a peek at my natal chart I realized that the "5th House" associated with children/first pregnancy... is empty. This doesn't mean I won't have children; this means I won't have to focus or try too hard... hopefully. There are signs very near the House however, that I feel are things to take into consideration while we are trying to have a baby. Based on these I am adding several new mantras to my collection:

"Take care of yourself."
"Be healthy."
"No guilt."
"Work hard."
"Do it your own unique way."

I love how they all kind of tie together; it wouldn't be hard to write a paragraph interconnecting them in some way. Do you use/have mantras?