Let the Sun shine... Let the Sunshine In...

Last month I learned something valuable that I will share at risk of sounding very young... even though I am very young.


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A month ago today I shared that someone at my work's wife is suprise-pregnant... but I didn't share that this was announced the day after my first BFN (big fat negative)... Thursday night I was devastated, disappointed, sad, and so frustrated. I managed to pull myself together before work that next morning and continue on, sunflower upon my head and the skip in my step that is Friday. After that announcement I plunged back down to the place I had been. I didn't like it; I felt involuntarily miserable and thus more miserable.
After making it through most of the day I was finally at home, sulking to myself. One of my blog-sisters, Kim, emailed me to see how I was doing and I spilled the beans. I expected her to agree, to comiserate with me, and to tell me things I wanted to hear.  She didn't; she pissed me off.

She told me that she knows how frustrating it must be for me to be going through this in light of the announcement, but that I had to be happy for them.

WHAT?! But, but... ME!!! What about MEEEE?!

Her email continued, "the more joy you can let in your heart and less stress, the easier it will be to conceive."

WELL... hmm. Yeah... Maybe there's something to this...
So I thought about it. I examined where the pissed-off was coming from: me.
She doesn't know the people I work with; she knows and likes me. She wants to help me.
So I had to re-read the email with love in my heart. It sounded different in my head the second time.
"You know," I said to myself, "you'd want people to be happy for you."
True.
"So be happy for them; they're going to experience the joy of a child. This doesn't mean you won't..."

Also True. So instead of being negatively affected by the news, I chose to be happy and go towards all the feelings that ever make me sad/uncomfortable and get up close to them. Turns out that once you make that choice, to be happy, the negative feelings simply back down and fizzle; this last month has been the most joyous of my entire life.


Thanks for pissing me off, Kim. ;o)

Married for 1 Year

Yesterday was our Anniversary! The first year went by so fast and it was so much fun.
We spent the day just being together, eating dinner at home (with defrosted wedding cake for dessert!), and going downtown where the wedding was last year.

We walked on the pedestrian bridge with the dog and got a funnel cake at the festival that was going on again this year. It was storming (our favorite weather) near us so we got to see lightning and hear rumbles as it rained on and off all day and later into the night.

• A year ago  I was saying hello to you all for the first time as a wife!
• We went camping and site seeing in South Dakota.
• Shawn flew a plane!
• I had health issues and overcame them.
• We bought a home together and moved in.
• We had many, many Mondays off where we drank margaritas.
• We adopted Peach!
• I decided to love myself.
• We made it to the halfway point for this year!
• We decided to have children.
• Filed our married taxes.
• Shawn took me away for my birthday!
• We said goodbye to another pet.
• Started preparations for having children.
• We waited to celebrate being together this long.

Thank you for sharing in our journey and our love.

It's Friday, I'm in LoVE! #22

Happy Friday!


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Today I am just so in love with... everything! Shawn and I are so happy, in love, communicating well, married for a YEAR on Sunday!!! We have so many things to be happy about and we are finding ourselves really enjoying each moment and getting caught up in them.
We are so fortunate in so many ways :o)
Hopefully in two weeks my body cooperates with me and stays on track according to the charting I've been doing and we will have yet another reason to be happy very soon.

I am in love with you, readers, for all the wonderful things you share with me in your comments. I literally get a huge grin on my face reading your thoughts and encouragement. Y'all are great.

Things I love that I learned and made and did this week:

1. Already researching doulas and making appointments to meet with them. Shannon was nice, I can't wait to meet Carrie next week!
2. I love my family and the little things we do together.
3. I love my constant search for knowledge and how Shawn is the same way. The Transit was so fun on Tuesday to share with him!
4. I have the courage to be myself all the time no matter what. Finally.
5. I am GREAT at cooking! YAY!

Well, slap me and call me observant... and foodie.

via... why would I not use a picture of a baby for this?!


 Apparently the guest recipe post I wrote for Offbeat Home was published last night! I missed it! BAHHHHH... not observant yesterday. I wrote out a recipe for Guacamole and Homemade Baked Tortilla chips and it's good!

Other posts I've contributed:
Recipes
Quinoa Pilaf
Mooseloaf

How we decided to have babies
How and When in the Now

I have decided something...

While talking to my mom yesterday we discussed that my goal for sharing our Baby Journey on my blog is to express how I feel throughout openly and honestly. I blog what I feel, what I think and what I have to say. I don't want to change that now, and I already talked about why. I promise not to share anything personal about anyone else but myself; but it's going to be the good, bad and ugly of me... so I have decided to add a 'jump break' to posts that could be TMI for family and sensitive readers. This will change the way my blog looks in feeds, readers and email subscriptions. If you want to read these posts in the future, you'll just click on the link to go to the entire post. Thank you for your support and love; it makes a world of difference!