If someone reads it, they read it. I own my words and the responsibility of carrying them.
In the last weeks of my pregnancy the last thing I am concerned with is having a shower for our baby. I wish we'd held them a little earlier because I am huge, uncomfortable and apparently the baby could come any day. I'm also just so obsessed with going into labor and finally meeting our baby that I am in no condition to work, be social or to act aware of anything around me. I'm in the Zone. And the only cure is giving birth... not more cowbell as some may argue.
If I must take part in a late-term baby shower, and I must, I want it to be a happy, easy-going celebration full of family and friends who ask non-stop questions about the BABY and our future plans for him or her.
Unfortunately the shower has become a hub for passive agressiveness and behavior patterns which damage relationships and hurt feelings. And all of us are to blame.
I ask that any family who is reading this re-groups and centers themselves on the fact that we are all waiting for a BABY here, this should be a fun and exciting time. Our family is growing because of nothing more than the love within it. I also ask that we be mindful of each other's feelings during this time: exclusion is excruciatingly painful. "I didn't remember" doesn't soften the blow, either. This is a very intimate family event and an invite extended to the entire family and not just one side of it means the world to more people than you know. Your absence is also incredibly painful and speaks very loudly, whether what it says is accurate or not.
I ask that I be kept out of who-said-what updates and Facebook squabbles; I'm really focused on bringing the baby into the world the best way I can and I cannot do that with my insides feeling all scrambled up from the stress of this situation. It's not about the shower/s, it's about the emotional tone of our family we're setting for this wee one to be born into that is important. Baby will not care who bought what. I want to show them we all love each other, dammit. We all need to act like it more.
I need to hug people more. And I am going to try.
*family refers to the group of people we joined together with our marriage nearly 2 years ago throughout this post. All of them.
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7 comments:
Unfortunately, I can relate all too well, it's such a shame people lose all focus and take away from this amazing time from us/others. It hurts to me to hear you are going thru drama too... as you mentioned, we should be focused on the any day arrival of our little miracles. Many hugs! love you tons!
Good for you for writing this. You need to do what is right for YOU right now. SO excited for your little one!! xoxo
Uh oh. Hang in there.
I'm so sorry to hear about the family drama, hon. Thank you so much for the invite to your shower, too. I so wish I could fly out there to visit and support you this month. It's funny, too, because I received your invite after I had just recently picked out something monkey-and-animal-themed to send you for Baby. When I saw the monkey on the invite, it brought a big smile to my face. Keep an eye out for a surprise coming in the mail soon! I am thinking of you, Shawn and Baby! Lots of <3.
I'm sorry you're having family stress issues again. Remember, you have created your own family and you need to take care if them. You, Shawn and my little niece/nephew are the most important thing right now. This two shall pass hunny. I live you & miss you tons! Wish I could have been there to keep everyone in line these last few months!
Oh boy, I am so sorry that the baby shower didn't work out but you will have an amazing little baby very soon and that is the most important. Sending you tons of hugs, sweetie.
How did this happen? This makes me so sad. It reminds me of how weddings can become so distorted. I hope it worked out ok.
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